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Kiokicker puts soccer in your toilet

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on June 28th, 2010

There are soccer fans and then there are hardcore soccer fans. This one is for the latter. For those who can not even live without soccer while going to the bathroom.

This urinal has a suspended ball and goalpost. If your aim is good enough and your player strong enough, you can get it into the back of the net and score a goal. It would be perfect for a busy bar with soccer on the large TV.

Green Max Robot Toilet Transformer

Posted in Robots by Conner Flynn on February 22nd, 2010

When is the last time you saw a toilet Transformer? It’s a first for me too. There’s actually a toilet maker called TOTO in Japan, who makes “Greenmax” toilets. To market these porcelain thrones they are using this robot action figure. TOTOROBO’s signature catchphrase? That would be “Protect the Earth, GMAX! Ready – Switch, on!”.

It’s too bad that with all the good the company does the environment with their toilets, the creation of this plastic toy with such huge packaging sort of undoes all that and flushes it all away.

H2Orb saves water

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on November 18th, 2009

H2Orb saves waterAquaOne Technologies’ H2Orb will let you know when you’ve got a leak or an overflow in your toilet. It attaches directly to the water valve behind the toilet, with a single float sensor that hangs inside the toilet tank. When it detects a leak, it shuts off the water and alerts you of the leak with an alarm as well as an icon on its LCD screen. The entire system runs on a single 3V lithium coin cell battery.

This device is great for those who live in places with limited resources, not to mention saving water. The sooner you know about a leak, the better.

The Potty Fisher

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on November 11th, 2009

The Potty FisherGiven the diet of most Americans, you better decide which you want to spend your day doing, fishing or on the toilet. Cause with so little fiber in your diet, you probably can’t manage both. Or can you? Thanks to the Potty Fisher, you can have the best of both worlds.

Clog up the tank you are sitting on while fishing for magnetic fish in the tank in front. It combines a man’s two favorite hobbies, fishing and spending hours in the bathroom.

Steampunk Urinal

Posted in DIY by Conner Flynn on October 14th, 2009

Sometimes Steampunk goes too far. Cakes, flash drives and clocks are all well and good but with the arrival of a Steampunk urinal, it seems like this genre has officially jumped the shark.

Technically it’s called the TeslaPunk Urinal. A hand-made solid oak tank with a battery powered flush pump, laser aiming assist, lights, antique gauges, flush capacitor, and cup holder. Yeah, what else can you say about this thing. I think it’s time that we changed the way we use the word Steampunk.

Portable Toilet Speakers

Posted in Speakers by Conner Flynn on August 4th, 2009

Portable Toilet SpeakersWhen your music sounds like sh*t, you might as well flush it down the toilet right? Let’s face it, speakers shaped like toilets probably have a sound to match the shape, but if you’re buying these, you probably just like toilet shaped things.

Only $14.99 each. Like your music, your cash will get flushed away. I’m guessing this is aimed at the crowd who puts broken toilets on the lawn as planters. Seriously, would any of you buy this?

Japanese toilet analyzes your droppings, sends results to your cell phone

Posted in Health by Conner Flynn on April 2nd, 2009

Japanese toilet analyzes your droppingsNext time you get a call, it might be TMI. See, this here fancy new john wants a word with you. The convo will go something like this, “Hey John. It’s me, your crapper. It’s about your stool…You might want to sit down…Hahaha I slay myself. Just a little toilet humor. But seriously, you gotta lay off the beans buddy… The janitor had to spray twice since you left.”

We’ll it could go down that way. New toilets by Inax will keep an eye on your health and inform you about it via cell phone. It analyzes your stool. Then, a report on your deuce is beamed to a personalized URL or your phone via infrared.


HemAway: The anti-hemorrhoid toilet seat

Posted in Health by Conner Flynn on March 16th, 2009

Having never suffered from hemorrhoids myself, I can only take their word for it that this, the latest in toilet seat/hemorrhoid technology will alleviate your discomfort and allow you to do your business like the rest of us. Dr. Maurello has hemorrhoids. He’s the inventor. HemAway is his idea.

HemAway looks like an angry toilet face, but really it’s a specially designed seat for minimizing the pain from prolapsed hemorrhoids. There’s no easy way to explain this, but it requires the person to position their hemorrhoids in a certain way. The video explains it and as a bonus you get to watch some animated rhoids retract nice and slow. May be slightly NSFW if your boss frowns upon cartoon rhoids.

ITOI children’s interactive toilet concept will scare the poop out of them

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on February 5th, 2009

Literally. When I first saw this, my brain was like wtf? but it’s actually brilliant. By scaring the poop and pee out of the child, it teaches them how to use the potty quicker. I’m not so sure about the whole, “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands” thing. Or the gloved hand. Or the moving TP roll.

Actually this thing here is pretty messed up. A literal crap gadget. I’m kinda scared about the fact that there’s a roll of duct tape lying nearby as well.

Dual Flush toilet does double doody

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on October 15th, 2008

Dual Flush toilet does double doodyWhen you think about it having the toilet and the sink in separate components doesn’t make much sense. Combining the two would save space and hopefully encourage those non-hand washers to wash up after doing their business because it’s right there. You know who you are. It saves water too.

The Dual Flush toilet puts this into practice by letting you brush your teeth while you pee and wash your hands and whatever else you want to do before you THEN flush, using the same water for all of it. Is it weird? Hell yeah, but you are saving a ton of water.

Mrs. Hudson, the toilet that looks like a pipe

Posted in Concepts by Conner Flynn on October 8th, 2008

Mrs. Hudson, the toilet that looks like a pipeSo some Russians had a bathroom design contest and they came up with this toilet, named “Mrs. Hudson” for some reason. I have no idea why. Maybe Mrs. Hudson is known for huge steaming BMs and affectionately called the pisser behind closed doors. It’s as good a guess as any. Design firm 2-B-2 Architecture claims that this winning toilet was “inspired by a water drop,”. Aren’t they all? The Russkies are crazy. I’m thinking some guy appears and shouts Riiicolllla and blows in this thing creating a huge mess.


The EcoJohn incinerates waste

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on September 4th, 2008

The EcoJohn incinerates wasteThis self-contained and waterless toilet is called the EcoJohn Sr Toilet. Quite simply, it burns the crap you normally flush, into white ash. It operates just like a regular toilet, except that water doesn’t take away your waste. Just close the lid and the waste is whisked away like South Park’s Mr. hankey the x mas poo on Christmas eve. It’s final destination is a burn chamber where it is cremated. A small bit of smoke is belched out and filtered through a catalytic converter before hitting the air.

There is some water involved, just minimal. The toilet is equipped with a small reservoir that holds about a quart of water. Press a special rinse button, and it’s easy to keep the bowl and auger clean. It’s the perfect water saving device, though I’m not sure how I would feel about having a chimney on my toilet.

Souped Up John: The ultimate geek throne

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on May 28th, 2008

Souped Up John: The ultimate geek throne
The Souped Up John is the ultimate in geek bathroom luxury. The designer certainly wasn’t constipated when it came to throwing ideas into this john, but was certainly counting on your constipation to keep you in place long enough to use all of the various gadgetry.

It sports a television, TiVo, DVD, XBox, laptop, fridge and of course the toilet paper holder comes standard. Plus an iPod docking station. You also get some exercise pedals in front for when you really need to shake those bowels loose. The megaphone is there so others can cater to any needs not already provided for.

The remote-controlled Blooming Bidet

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on May 14th, 2008

The remote-controlled Blooming Bidet
It’s true that most toilets in Japan have built-in bidets, but I’m guessing that not many of those are equipped with a remote control. The Blooming Bidet is, adding some elegance and allowing you to have full control over the toilet experience. That includes full control of the water spray intensity as well as the hot air aimed at your behind.

Thank God it has a huge Stop button. If this thing goes berserk and starts treating your privates badly, you can just hit it to get things under control again. Flushing is automatic, that’s why there’s no Flush button. It might have been a good idea to add one for the occasional logjam. It also has a LED underwater nightlight, a pressure sensor and integrated controls located near the right thigh.

Potty Monkey teaches you how to use the toilet

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 7th, 2008

Potty Monkey teaches you how to use the toilet
Products that are designed to help you learn how to use the toilet are funny. Mostly because you should know how to use the toilet by now. Potty Monkey is awesome. This 15-inch tall stuffed monkey comes complete with a pair of diapers, a pair of underwear and his toilet. An electronic timer is buried somewhere in his rectum body and can be set at intervals of 30 or 90 minutes. When the clock runs out, the monkey will tell you he needs to go potty. When you place him on the toilet he won’t shut up about it. He’ll tell you how much better he feels, and will even sing a version of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’, except his version is all about dukey and yule-logs. Don’t think you can just ignore him like a bad parent either.

If you do, he will just plead more. “I really need to go potty! Let’s go potty!!” Ignore him again, and he says, “Hey, take me to the potty now or I’ll have an accident!” After that, “Oh no! I had an accident! Please take me to the potty next time.” No…I will not take you to the potty. You are not my son. You are a bad monkey who somehow ended up in my home and feels free to crap himself at the drop of a hat.

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