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Botropolis: This week in robots

Posted in Robots by Conner Flynn on January 15th, 2010

Happy Friday everyone. It’s time to take a look at what’s happening in the wonderful world of robots. We covered quite a bit this week over at Botropolis. And as far as we know, no robot has killed a human this week or through inaction allowed him to be killed, so that’s always something. Also we haven’t seen any reports of humans being abducted by robots and taken to secret lairs. But they are still taking our jobs at the same rate. So it’s been a good week. Here’s some of what we covered this week.

TrueCompanion: The World’s First Sex Robot Doll.

ENON: The Robot Salesman.

Predictions: Spot Robots On Time Traveler Transit Map.

SexBox 3600 adult console

Posted in Games by Conner Flynn on September 8th, 2009

SexBox 3600 adult consoleI know some of you guys don’t get out much and so your XBox 360 has become your girlfriend. This is like that, except more official-like. Silicon Xtal has filed a patent for an adult-oriented game console called SexBox. It plays interactive Adult Only rated video game software titles, and has proprietary software and firmware for access to associated AO content and other adult entertainment.

It comes with no controllers. Instead, for about $33 you get a schoolgirl costume and some lotion. And something they simply call a “roter”. I wonder if it will be a hit.

LoveTrainer, for those who aren’t doing it right

Posted in Headphones by Conner Flynn on January 28th, 2009

LoveTrainer, for those who aren’t doing it rightUPDATE: Turns out this is a hoax.

Is your girlfriend telling you that you are not up to the challenge in the bedroom? Do you need some kind of lovemaking coach? This completely ridiculous product wants to train you in the art of love. The LoveTrainer, from Sega (which looks incredibly similar to the FiTrainer from iTami) is basically a set of headphones that you and your awkward lover wear in the bedroom. It plays music and helps you along with such inspirational statements as “The foreplay, will now begin!” and “You are making love, at a very good pace!”

Look, if you need this device, you should never ever touch a fellow human being, because you are some sort of human abomination, in the bedroom and out. That goes for you and your lame lover. Seriously, the pair of you should just invest in some old fashioned porn. If that still doesn’t teach you, then please stop trying to reproduce.

LED Undies are scary, light up

Posted in Apparel by Conner Flynn on January 25th, 2009

LED Undies are scary, light upLED-embedded undergarments are bizarre. Maybe even creepy. I mean, look at the pic. It looks like you have an evil other-worldly creature living in your nether regions. Do you really want that thing staring at you? But hey, maybe you like that sort of thing in the bedroom. Who am I to judge?

I guess LED undies are only limited by your perverse imagination. At Enlighted, you can get LED g-strings, panties, even hot pants. If it’s not freakish enough for you, they will make a custom piece for you, with lights and patterns of your choice. Perfect for acting out Sci-Fi fantasies. Just don’t ever talk about it outside of the bedroom. Please.

Condom Dispenser: You feeling lucky punk?

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on September 11th, 2008

Condom Dispenser: You feeling lucky punk?The condom dispenser moves the prophylactic party from the drawer to a bedside table top. It’s not for everyone, after all some get luckier then others. In fact, what works for this item also works against it. Sure, it’s great to have a condom dispenser nearby since you get so much sex that you lay in bed all day,(Uh…sure you do.) but chances are that if you actually have a woman in your life, this is wayyy to tacky a decoration to meet with her approval.

But if you have a special kind of gal with vision… One that sees the form and function of the condom dispenser as a great blending of mid-century modern with a blend of trailer park skank, then here are the measurements: 9″ H x 3.5″ W x 4″ D, made of aluminum and plastic, and it can hold up to 24 packs of condoms. Only $28.

iCondom: Four years in the making

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on May 22nd, 2008

iCondom: Four years in the makingThe first ever “Clever condom”. They took 4 years to perfect them. The best packaging created by the best designers. They use a special patented formula of latex and the product ushers in a new era in the history of safe sex. It’s basically another arrogant iProduct that would perfectly compliment your iPhone, iMac, or MacBook.

It’s actually some sort of viral promotion. Pretty funny site. They got the attitude and arrogance spot on. People would probably buy them based on this site’s pitch alone.

Tenga masturbation machine is easy to clean

Posted in Sex by Conner Flynn on March 21st, 2008

Tenga masturbation machine is easy to clean
At first glance you might just think this is a new concept phone. It’s actually a machine designed so that you can get your wank on, and it opens up so you can clean it easily. Ain’t that a pretty picture. It’s made of silicon, and it’s got vacuum and pump buttons on it for you to adjust the sidewalls, so you can pretend you are with a really hot girl.

Apparently it’s good for fifty uh…uses. It will cost you $99, but hey, they also throw in three containers of lube. This gadget will help you do what you already do anyway, just high tech. I can sense that some of you are excited. I can almost hear you thinking, “This is like using someone else’s hand entirely”. That’s right. No need to make your hand fall asleep before the deed any longer my friends. And for others out there…This beats the hell out of using a cardboard TP tube.

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