There’s a lot to be paranoid about these days. UFOs are abducting humans and cows at an alarming rate. The near collapse of our nation’s banking system. Bigfoot. Shadow governments. The Illuminati. E-coli. North Korea. Bird flu. Grocery store muzak. Falling satellites. Nuclear weapons. Just to name a few.
I don’t have to tell you what it all means. It means that it’s time to start shoving stuff under your mattress. Money. Guns. Medicine. Powdered food rations. Maybe a back-up gaming console. Everyone knows that under the mattress is the most secure place for all your stuff. You sleep there don’t you? You’ll be safe as long as you have your stash of important stuff.