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NEC’s LaVie S laptops are ready for the ladies

Posted in NEC by Conner Flynn on April 19th, 2010

NEC is readying their LaVie S notebooks, which are strong enough for a man but made for a woman. They reportedly come with a Core i5 CPU option. The ‘S’ stands for ‘Slim’ since they are just 35mm thin and weigh in at 2.4kg.

Three models will be launched. The LS150, the LS350, and the LS550: priced at 1,15,000 yen($1250), 1,31,500 yen ($1430) and 1,50,000 yen ($1,631). The LS550/AS6 comes with the Core i5-430M (2.26GHz, built-in video circuitry), an HM55 Express Chipset, 4GB Memory, a 500GB HDD, DVD writer, and a 15.6–inch LED backlit, low-reflection LCD.

80 percent of female console gamers choose Wii

Posted in Wii by Conner Flynn on November 27th, 2009

80 percent of female console gamers choose WiiIf choosy moms choose Jif, than choosy female gamers apparently choose the Wii. Nintendo recently did some info checking and it turns out that the Wii is outperforming its rivals when it comes to female gamers. According to its estimates, 80 percent of the female console gaming crowd prefers Wii over the alternatives.

There are an estimated 11.7 million female console gamers in the Americas, but keep in mind that this data doesn’t take into account DS owners or PC users. However this figure adds up to roughly nine million ladies. In related news, men are now encouraged to approach women only in 480p mode, displaying cartoony graphics, with no good titles to your name. This apparently woos the ladies.

Dell done with Della

Posted in Dell by Conner Flynn on May 23rd, 2009

Dell unveils Della to sweet talk the ladiesJust ten or so days after Dell officially launched the female-oriented Della, a site that helps women find computers to hold their recipes and count their calories, it’s over. Word is, that Dell broke up with her via a text message. Dell just wasn’t that into you baby.

She’s been replaced, with the similar, yet less femininely named “Lifestyle.”

Female torso mouse with clickable boobs

Posted in Mouse by Conner Flynn on August 25th, 2008

Female body mouse with clickable boobsFor those who want navigate while pawing a woman’s body, this is for you. If you already have a female in your life chances are you’ll get smacked and live on the couch for a week. If you are alone and buying this, good luck finding a real woman. These mice have no heads or limbs so you can concentrate all your pervy attention on the naughty bits.

Right and left click the boobs to your hearts content. It comes in two varieties: lingerie torso and cropped World Cup t-shirt torso. Both wear lacy painted underwear and have actual different names that go with their nationality. They’ll cost you $45, which is nothing to you since you aren’t spending it on a real woman.

Sega kissing robot soon to hit Japan

Posted in Robots by Conner Flynn on June 12th, 2008

Sega kissing robot soon to hit Japan
Today, Sega Toys announced their plans to start selling a new humanoid robot in Japan, named E.M.A., on September 26th. E.M.A. stands for “Eternal, Maiden, Actualization” Translated that means, “Hi nerd. Here’s your new companion.”

The robot is of the female persuasion and stands at 38 cm tall. According to Sega, the E.M.A. is special because of her “glamorous body” and because she’s highly interactive. (Translation:Only a nerd could love that body and she kinda puts out.) She’ll sing and dance, hand out your business cards, even walk “like a lady”. I wasn’t kidding when I said she puts out. She won’t go all the way, though I’m sure some of you will force the issue, but she will kiss you if your head comes into close contact with her. That’s when the love mode switches on.

Kiss phone detects the intensity of virtual kisses

Posted in Mobile Phones by Conner Flynn on February 18th, 2008

Kiss phone detects the intensity of virtual kissesApparently cell phone kissing is a hot activity in Japan. I had no idea. The kiss phone makes it easier to kiss your loved one from a distance via mobile. This isn’t just video and making loud smoochie sounds either, the kiss phone from PROinvention can detect the intensity of the kiss. It senses not only the pressure you use, but also the heat of your lips and how hard you press or suck. (I’d say you suck pretty hard if you buy this phone)

Warning: Creepy territory ahead. Your partner, who also obviously has a Kiss Phone, just presses their lips against the fake plastic mouth of the phone…and they will feel the partner’s simulated mouth on theirs. Yes, it has now come to sticking your mouth on plastic objects. If you like, you can also leave kisses on the answering machine, and replay them over and over, until your lips hurt.