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The Potty Putter

Posted in Golf by Conner Flynn on June 21st, 2009

Potty PutterYes, Potty Putter makes it okay to play a game of miniature golf with your pants around your ankles, while on the john. All I can say is, if you need so much practice that you have to putt while taking a dump, you should probably find another hobby.

I guess the restroom isn’t so restful anymore. After you’ve made your deposit, you may as well go full out and pee in the Uroclub. You’ll get the Putting green, 2 golf balls, Flag stick, Putter and a “Do Not Disturb” sign for your practice sessions.

The UroClub commercial

Posted in Golf by Conner Flynn on March 12th, 2009

We told you about the UroClub last year. It’s the golf club that you pee in. And now, there’s a commercial showing it off. It’s pretty easy to use. Just screw cap off, relieve yourself, then screw cap on again. Hopefully you didn’t make a mess.

The video is about what you would expect. It shows one guy peeing in the trees, making some rather odd motions and I quote: “The UroClub comes with a towel and appears that you’re just checking out your club.”. Then at some point three old guys are peeing in the trees and giving each others junk a look or two.

Toilet Seat Scale allows you watch as you lose weight

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on January 7th, 2009

Toilet Seat Scale allows you watch as you lose weightScales come in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes they are on your mouse. Sometimes they are on a chair. And sometimes they can be found on a toilet seat.

Which makes sense. Losing weight is hard. It might help motivate you, if you can see visually just how much you lose on the old John. Because we all know we lose some weight on the throne. Now it’s time to see just how much. Judging by that rabbit-thing’s reaction, it seems that he/she has just pinched a weighty loaf.

Mr. Wilson is hungry for your towel

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on October 26th, 2008

Mr. Wilson is hungry for your towelAre you looking for a clever way to keep your towel off the bathroom floor? Sure, we all are. Mr. Wilson will help. He needs a gig desperately. He was never the same since losing the Pac-Man auditions to that other dude in the 80’s. Who needs a boring towel rack when you’ve got Mr. Wilson? He’s basically a tennis ball with a mouth, mounted to your wall with a suction cup. He’s kinda creepy, but if you like that sort of thing, he’ll cost you around $14.

Serial Killer shower curtain will freak out your guests

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on July 27th, 2008

Serial Killer shower curtain will freak out your guestsEver since that classic seen in Psycho people seem to have an irrational fear of a closed shower curtain. After all, there may be a killer on the other side. This shower curtain takes all the uncertainty out of things: There’s always a killer.

Have an unwanted house guest who comes over and uses your bathroom? Their visits will likely stop after they see this and get creeped out. But it gets better. This shower curtain comes complete with a woman’s terror filled scream and the music from Psycho. It’s got a AA battery-powered motion sensor and speaker, which is activated whenever someone enters the bathroom. Only $20.

UroClub: Golfing with a pee iron

Posted in Golf by Conner Flynn on June 9th, 2008

UroClub: Golfing with a Pee iron
We all know that Golf is a game for old men with weak bladders and young men who drink too much. It all adds up to a long day and alot of peeing in the rough. But if you want to be lazy about it, why bother leaving the green at all? Urologist Floyd Seskin went above and beyond the call of urine duty by making this possible. How you ask? It’s simple.

Just place a towel over your stuff and unscrew the cap of this club that looks like a 7-iron, and relieve yourself as fast as you can, so you don’t get caught. It will hold up to a half liter. Now, I’ve never measured my own homebrew so I have no idea how much to expect. I just know that it would suck to get a bunch of sprayback all over me. The upside of this fake iron is that it feels good to relieve yourself. The downside is that to everyone else it just looks like you’re going to town on a 7 iron behind a towel.

RSStroom Reader: News on toilet paper

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on June 2nd, 2008

RSStroom Reader: News on toilet paper
This is one luxury that they forgot to add to the Souped-up John. It’s the perfect way to get the latest news, since most news is crappy news. It’s courtesy of Yi Tien Electronics, an innovator who saw the need for bathroom reading material and decided to fill it. They made a computer/printer/toilet fax that prints RSS headlines directly onto toilet paper. The device even calculates the user’s weight when they sit on the toilet seat, so it can taylor the news specifically to you. (I’m guessing a bunch of Wii Fit news)


Souped Up John: The ultimate geek throne

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on May 28th, 2008

Souped Up John: The ultimate geek throne
The Souped Up John is the ultimate in geek bathroom luxury. The designer certainly wasn’t constipated when it came to throwing ideas into this john, but was certainly counting on your constipation to keep you in place long enough to use all of the various gadgetry.

It sports a television, TiVo, DVD, XBox, laptop, fridge and of course the toilet paper holder comes standard. Plus an iPod docking station. You also get some exercise pedals in front for when you really need to shake those bowels loose. The megaphone is there so others can cater to any needs not already provided for.

Vertebrae vertical bathroom system

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on May 22nd, 2008

Vertebrae vertical bathroom system
You can see right off the bat that this is an ideal way to save space in your bathroom. It uses very little floor space and so the Vertebrae vertical bathroom system is a perfect multi-purpose bathroom unit for luxury apartments with a space shortage. The name obviously comes from it’s design.

It houses everything you expect to find in a regular bathroom, it even has showerheads, a sink, a cistern, a potty and lots of storage units. This has got to be the ultimate space saving bathroom design.

Hands free flushing with the Foot Flush

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on March 24th, 2008

Hands free flushing with the Foot Flush
Even the cleanest bathroom has invisible nasties lurking around every corner. Whether you are a germophobe or not, it would only help matters if there were some way to flush the toilet without actually touching that bacteria ridden cesspool. There is! Time to put the peddle to the metal bathroom tile, with the Foot Flush. “Changing the world one step at a time”.

For $20, you will never have to flush by hand, ever again. It hooks to the flushing mechanism in your toilet bowl. Take that toilet! After years of your sweet caress on it’s jiggly handle, it will now be touched less then Rosie O’Donell in a room full of female Tennis players.

Breeza 4-stage deodorizing toilet seat

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on March 23rd, 2008

Breeza 4-stage deodorizing toilet seat
At long last a new development in toilet seat technology. Sure, there are a number of products that fight odors in the modern outhouse that we call the bathroom, but most of those are sprays that smell almost as offensive as the bomb you just inflicted on the citizens of toilet-town. This solution is built right into seat.

Once you plump your butt cheeks down onto the toilet seat and get ready to play bombs away, it knows what you’re about to do and it will begin the decontamination deodorization process that captures odors, purifies and freshens the air. The mysterious process includes fans, filters and fragranced vents. If your bomb bay doors don’t like the cold, there’s a heated version available. No need to wear a Haz-Mat suit ever again when entering your throne-room/library.


Tattoos for your toilet seat

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on March 17th, 2008

Tattoos for your toilet seat
For some reason, humans like to put their own unique stamp on everything so they can stand out. Just look at all the tech add-ons that personalize their gadgets. And after centuries of tattooing their bodies, it’s time to tattoo the ole crapper.

Toilet tattoos are printed on a plastic film that sticks electrostatically to your plastic seat lid. They can be easily removed and changed or cleaned. They offer a variety of patterns and images, including holiday themes, so you can change the look of your can to match the season. Personally, I would want the frogs one, but I would want the image to change automatically. They would start off as happy frogs, but after somebody does their business and adds a few logs to the pond, the frogs would keel over and fall off their branch. Then when the smell dissipates, they would be happy again. See, it’s not only pretty, but kinda like a refuse radiation detector as well.