At first glance you might just think this is a new concept phone. It’s actually a machine designed so that you can get your wank on, and it opens up so you can clean it easily. Ain’t that a pretty picture. It’s made of silicon, and it’s got vacuum and pump buttons on it for you to adjust the sidewalls, so you can pretend you are with a really hot girl.
Apparently it’s good for fifty uh…uses. It will cost you $99, but hey, they also throw in three containers of lube. This gadget will help you do what you already do anyway, just high tech. I can sense that some of you are excited. I can almost hear you thinking, “This is like using someone else’s hand entirely”. That’s right. No need to make your hand fall asleep before the deed any longer my friends. And for others out there…This beats the hell out of using a cardboard TP tube.